If your awakening feels like too much, chances are you know exactly how to push. More meditation. More inquiry. More practice.
What almost nobody teaches you is how to brake.
I talk with my clients about the gas and the brakes. After an awakening, the brakes are often the missing skill.
Why everyone knows the gas
Most of the practices you learned are designed to wake you up: traditional meditation, inquiry, retreats. They push, and they work. They take you up to an insight.
But once you've woken up, at least partly, the situation changes. To live it, you don't have to repeat the insight. The insight was already clear. Your nervous system is open now, and the question changes from "how do I get further?" to "what wants to be seen today?"
What too much gas looks like
Too much gas is pushing that doesn't come from where things want to unfold. You feel ungrounded. You're exhausted, but you can't sleep.
It can also show up after a glimpse of something deeper. Everything opens, there are no boundaries, and the body goes: whoa, there's no ground, what is this? That's a normal fear response to a deeper realization. It's also the moment you need the brakes.
For roughly the first five years after my own awakening, I went into it very intensely. And eventually, I became very tired.
Where the pushing comes from
Often the pushing comes from a quiet sense of "I'm not good enough yet". When you heal from that place, you keep confirming it: I need to work on myself, because I'm not there yet.
The mind adds to it. There are so many videos and techniques, and the mind thinks: this could be it. So it's worth asking about any practice: is this coming from where things want to unfold, or from my mind looking for the next technique?
The brake is grounding
Especially if you have a sensitive nervous system, it's important not to push too hard on practice. It isn't necessary.
For me, the brake is grounding. The key is in the body.
With grounding, you find your own way of doing it. You try one exercise and you think: oh, this works. You try another one and it does nothing for you. That's fine. You're finding out what works for your body.
A small example from myself: alternate nostril breathing works for me when I breathe through the same side twice and then switch. One side and then the other does nothing for me. That's how personal this is.
So if you've tried grounding and it didn't help, that doesn't mean grounding doesn't work for you. It means you haven't found yours yet. Finding out which grounding fits which system is a big part of my work with people.
Safety comes gradually
Underneath the techniques there's a deeper layer. Your nervous system needs to accept safety, and that goes gradually.
But safety is also something you give yourself, right now. I'm okay where I am. Oh, fear. That's also okay.
Sometimes you need gas
Not everyone needs to slow down. Some people are stuck, and a bit more practice helps them. Sometimes I help people put a little more gas on it.
The skill isn't braking. It's knowing which one you need today.
Frequently asked questions
Can you slow down a spiritual awakening? Yes, in the sense that you can stop adding gas: less forcing, and less practice that comes from the mind. And you can learn to brake, mostly through the body and grounding.
Why doesn't grounding work for me? Grounding is personal. An exercise that settles one person does nothing for the next. If it hasn't worked yet, you probably haven't found the kind that fits your system.
Should I stop meditating when my awakening is too intense? Not necessarily. In my own process, it was very important to rest enough and to meditate without forcing a technique: just sitting, and grounding to stabilize the energy. Some people, on the other hand, are stuck and benefit from a bit more practice.
Find your brakes
Most of us were taught how to wake up. Very few of us were taught how to live with it. If you want help finding your own balance between gas and brakes, that's what I do with people: I fine-tune their practice with them, find the grounding that fits their system, and help them know when to push and when to brake. You can book a free call.